You've got wasabi in your walk
And you mean to spice my guise
Wrench the lies and hear my velvet heartbeat
I've been coldly tempted by a silky scream
But stonily held fast to vanilla
Because you don't see a classic beat
From a caffeine-free come-hither
So bottle the fuzzy and wring-out the wail
You've never tasted blues till you've had it with vinegar
And a coffee-sounding carpet keeps a man grounded
Try all you like with salty smiles
And tactile fumes from lemonade lungs
I've got peppermint singing in my veins
And copper reciting on my tongue
Senses defeat what the senseless try
I heard you looking at me with butterscotch eyes













Comments
I'm calling you today, by the way.
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If my calculations are correct, SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN!
But I have to be honest...the whole thing together seems a little forced. With a tiny bit of refinement, this could be one of your best. Lines 5 through 8, for example, are a little weak. But then you pick up with my favorite line: "You've never tasted blues till you've had it with vinegar"...that could almost stand alone.
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Coplan
~/ Shutter Photo
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In truth there is no such thing in man's nature as a settled and full resolve either for good or evil, except at the very moment of execution.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne, Twice-Told Tales "Fancy's Show Box"
I guess it confused me a little bit because I noticed the taste adjectives more readily or frequently than some of the others, but I think I get it.
You should write at work more often. Where do you work? *wanted a new job ANYWAY, but now...*
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When the ground is shifting from your feet
And the sense you talk is crowned deceit
When you dance past gravity
When the world will not believe
Then dance into a New World
Taste adjectives do really stick out because they are so dynamic. Texture is hard.
Yes, let us always make sure that our lines of work are conducive to writing. Resist the tyranny of the willingly illiterate.
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In truth there is no such thing in man's nature as a settled and full resolve either for good or evil, except at the very moment of execution.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne, Twice-Told Tales "Fancy's Show Box"
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