Apologize in advanced - this comment has a lot of thoughts. I don't mean to offend...just some ideas that I have to improve. Ignore, discard or adopt...

Something with the rhythm and the imagry is bothering me. A few words tweaked, and I think I like the sound a little better. There are also a few things that could be omitted...I'm including line numbers:

1: I'm counting minutes by shells
2: On this shore of hell and sand.
(shells ~ morters...but "shells" helps to maintain the double-meaning that I believe you intend)

5: I'd left Omaha for Utah;
6: Still it all looks the same.
(#6 is a great thought...but I can't quite figure out the relation of Omaha or Utah to the poem Do these lines belong? If they're removed, does your intent get lost? And if so, what can you do to clarify that intent?)

7: Been shot enough to kill a thousand men,
8: Yet no bullet will stop this.
(Stop what? Stop you (me)? You don't have to clarify, but I think you need to give some slight indication)


9: And only one hurt.
10: The first one.
11: We claimed the beach.
12: They took it back.
(Don't know why, but this sounds disjointed. I love the intent, just feel that there's a line or two missing between 10 and 11)

13: And so on until we all forgot
14: Whether we saluted in the air or beside our head.
(Line 14 - such a powerful phrase. Feelings of confusing, feelings of resentment, feelings of anger...I feel all of these...that's awesome.)


15: I've written these words before
16: With my knife on the beach,
(Awesome emotion)

17: But the tide washed them and the bodies away
(rewrite: But the bloody tide washed them away with the bodies

18:And brought us back again.
(rewrite: And brought us back to these shores again)

Again...hope you don't get angry with my thoughts.

--
Coplan
~/ Shutter Photo

That's probably one of the best comments I have ever gotten. I am still working on a revision of my last poem but I will take your thoughts into account when I rework this. If you'll do me another favor- go back through the poem thinking about D-Day. What are your new thoughts?

--
In truth there is no such thing in man's nature as a settled and full resolve either for good or evil, except at the very moment of execution.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne, Twice-Told Tales "Fancy's Show Box"

I had 'D' day in mind the whole time. Specifically, I had the an image right out of "Saving Private Ryan". I guess the only part of my comment I might revise is lines 5 and 6 (Omaha to Utah) which may very well be a historical reference that I missed.

--
Coplan
~/ Shutter Photo